Your Situation Could Always Be Worse...

I am currently in North Carolina sitting in a doctor's office waiting room listening to a lady spew her "medical" life story to a room full of complete and utter strangers...hence the title of my blog. I arrived here overnight and will be here until early Sunday morning-when I take my leave and return to Virginia. Even though I am originally from NC it never ceases to amaze me how "country" everyone sounds down here. I never really had an accent (must have been that light bulb that came on in 5th grade - another story).



Right now two ladies are laughing loudly (they are immersed in their own conversation and whispering quite loudly). It's all so "down home". It's that southern hospitality thang. Point in case...as we were coming into the door (my sister and I) a gentleman stepped out to let another lady know that she had left something on a chair inside. She smiled broadly and said "Yes I know." Then thanked him.



In VA that NEVER would have happened. People don't concern themselves with the affairs of others in VA. Hell, you would be hard pressed to have someone hold an elevator door for you. God...that's kind of sad and funny all at the same time. Wow, I may have to change the title of my blog to "It's a Southern Thang". The "Ooh sit down let me show you how open I can be with my medical history" lady has been called back to the back to be with her husband (I guess that's who he was).



Gawd (getting into character), her story was pretty intense. She layed out all her medical misgivings and the details rolled off her tongue as if she was just taking a leisurely stroll or slinging chicken feed out in the yard. It was uncanny. She had no sense of propriety and no doubt has retold her story on countless ocassions. Unbelievable. She even mentioned something about being cut from "here to there" along with anal cancer and a new rectum. It was little gross and whiney all at the same time. Sensational even. I don't get it and suppose I never will. But I guess that's just the natural progression in the South. If you live long enough down here you will have ailments, trials and tribulations to tell (brag) about. A badge of honor if you will. Everbody's got a story to tell- some better then others.

Listening to her spin her tale helped me to realize that in any given situation the circumstances could always be worse. Plainly put...I don't really have any problems. My life is peachy. Good even. I'm in a comfy spot and the better it gets...the better it gets (so says Abraham). I'm lucky and glad to be in my own skin. I'm not perfect by any stretch but I do alright. It's just me, my twists and I.

I think I'll let that sink in...

Be Well

2010...already???

God...I have managed to make it through Christmas and New Year's Eve unscathed. Despite this major feat, I still feel a bit cheated. By all accounts I believe I did things right. I bought gifts early as to avoid the rush of traffic and strange bodies rubbing up against one another in departments stores. I served and served then served some more. I washed freakin' dishes till the cows came home (but my brother washed some too). I weaved two heads of hair, twisted three heads of hair, handed out a million gifts during the family exchange, hooked up a PC and bought yarn and knitting needles. Yes, dammit! Knitting needles!! I took my netbook home but I only managed to use it once and not to blog.

In ALL that time that I was off I never once managed to carve out any space for myself and I'm really kind of bummed about it all. God. I had such high hopes and lofty plans about making goals and preparing myself for 2010. What a f**king joke. I only have the weekend left before I return to work and I haven't made plan the first. Me thinks I should start my NEW year by stating the following: THIS SHIT IS GETTING OLD!

I'm rushing, half packed on my own ship. It's leaving port and it feels as if I'm running with all my shit in an oversize paper bag. Hold up...I should be cruising into 2010. I should not be taking the crumbs, saving the best for last or giving my all to anybody else! I should be getting the best cuts of meat, the best that I have to offer and my "all" should be reserved for me -dammit!! Did I mention that this shit was getting old? Oh...right. I did. Keep that thought, I may refer to it again.

Thankfuly, there is time to redirect. It's still early yet. There is hope and the proverbial monkey on my back shall be expelled -post haste! I'm sick to death of doing things the same old way. When I come back from my 2010 Cruise, I am going to be a different woman. I have 364 days left to cruise and I am going to enjoy as much of what is left as I can. I will explore each deck of my ship, enjoy fine dining and take advantage of the massages being offered at the Spa. I will climb the rock wall, order room service at 2:00am (if I want) and sing at the Karaoke Bar.

I am the Captain, Cruise Director, Executive Chef and crew all rolled into one. I refuse to disembark without having had the time of my life. I am desperate to have, do and be the new and improved me. I want adventure in my life. I want to be rich. I want to travel to exotic places. I want to expand my mind and take in the scenery of a different and beautiful setting. Hell, I want to hug trees in the Red Wood Forest and wiggle my toes in the black sands of Hawaii! Only this time, I will not ask Calgon to take me away. I will rely on myself to take me away. Afterall, I am the only one who can do it.

Wow...it's sobering to wakeup and realize that you are the only one who has kept you from self actualizing - no one else. Damn it all...it always comes back to that doesn't it? Ultimately it's no one else's fault but mine.

Geez, do we have time for an intermission? I feel I need to powder my nose and pull my collective selves together. Act One of this play was a m****rf**ker. A girl can only hope that Act Two will be better with a new cast of characters.

Act Two is 2010.

Ooh...I hear the audience clapping. My life awaits me...better get back to my seat.

Be Well